Hello,

Perhaps you know me. My name is Jesus. Yes. Your Lord and personal saviour. And I've got a very important message for you.

Now, being omniscient, I know that you're thinking, "What the fuck is Jesus doing on a web site?" Well, I knew that you'd come here, so that's why I have my own web site. But enough of that. Let me get to my important message for you.

For millenia, Satan has been fucking with humanity, and now is the time for all my children to fight back. Hey - I kicked ass in the temple - and now's the time for you to pick up the torch! I want you to...

 Yes. You can fight back against the Prince of Darkness. It's your Christian duty to fight back against the Devil. So I want YOU to FUCK SATAN.

There are many ways for you to fuck Satan, and I'd like to help introduce you to some of the enlightened ways that you too can fuck Satan. Many of my children are already sticking it to Satan, but not nearly enough of you are doing it everyday in your daily lives.

So please, take a few moments to browse this web site and discover how you too can fuck Satan.

Oh, and by the way, if you don't I'll personally see to it that you see your eyes slowly burn over the millenia in eternal torment in the dark liquid fires of Hell.

Just food for thought.

Your Loving God and Personal Saviour,

Jesus Christ